5 Reasons To Really Feel Your Emotions

Feelings, emotions, miscarriage, people pleasing, self-love, alignment, frequency, neural nets

Almost two years ago, I miscarried at 14 weeks after a terrible car accident. The entire experience jolted me out of the routine and rather unexamined life I had been living. Everything stopped for a while. The facade (that I didn’t even realize I had been maintaining) crumbled away. I found myself crying on the way to work, crying at work, crying in the middle of the night. Feelings that I “didn’t have time for” were welling up and out of my body beyond my control at seemingly inopportune times.

What came out of the devastating loss turned out to be one of the greatest gifts of my life — the chance at a new life, one in alignment with my heart, my higher self, my soul, my purpose (however you want to phrase it).

While recovering from the physical and emotional trauma, I worked with two incredible healers in what felt like divine appointments. Both separately urged that I begin allowing and feeling my emotions. Two years later, I see the profound significance of their advice.

Feeling your emotions, people pleasing, self-love, alignment, neural nets, frequency — all of these are buzz phrases used in the worlds of personal development and the Law of Attraction. And, as I’ve come to realize, they are all more interrelated than they might seem at first glance.

If I’m focused on feeling MY emotions:

  1. I’m not people pleasing because I’m focused on my feelings instead of being overly preoccupied with the thoughts and feelings of everyone around me.
  2. I’m practicing self-love because I’m in tune with what I truly desire at a core level, and I’m able to provide for myself in a way that is deeply satisfying;
  3. I’m in alignment because I’m processing all of my emotions — feeling all of it, letting the bad go, and fostering more of the emotions that are true to how I want to feel on a regular basis.
  4. I’m rewiring the powerful neural nets in my brain. Once I really started acknowledging my feelings, some pretty negative, fear-based, self-doubting patterns became obvious. I am slowly undoing those 30-something-year-old electrical patterns by learning to choose thoughts that feel better. As Dr. Joe Dispenza writes in his Becoming Supernatural: If you’ve spent years in a cycle of thinking and feeling negatively, you’ve become addicted to those emotions. Getting a new job or a new spouse may not even help you feel better on a long term basis since most people return to their baseline state after a relatively short amount of time. He urges that you have to “think greater than the way you feel” to make any real, lasting changes. This is something that must be practiced over an extended period of time to see real progress.
  5. My frequency is higher. As Dispenza writes, we are all energetic beings and emit a frequency. When we think a thought, the networks that fire create electrical charges; those thoughts also cause chemical reactions which cause emotions, which create magnetic charges. Together, this creates our own individual electromagnetic field, which Dispenza calls our state of being.  He writes that different emotions have different frequencies, and that we are usually sending out the same type of energy day in day out. We have to change how we think and feel to change our energetic state of being and upgrade our frequency.  

The takeaway here is stop and FEEL your feelings — especially the negative stuff. Suppressing it just keeps us stuck. We have to acknowledge the truth of our negative emotional patterns if we ever want to move out of them and start cultivating happier neural nets and a happier life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts!


Divine. God. Sacred.

This morning, as my husband and I struggled to get our two-year old to the bathroom to brush his teeth, I could feel the patience running threadbare in each of us. Our little boy had already been up since 5:45 a.m., and we’d just talked him down from a near-cookie-calamity — what were we thinking leaving Girl Scout cookies in plain sight?! As this potential breaking point escalated, I suddenly remembered my commitment to change this year; I remembered that I wanted the energy in our home to be different. Out of nowhere, I felt called to my breath. With a conscious inhalation and exhalation, I heard the words “Divine. God.” It was a powerful reset. Perhaps the best thing we can do each day to remain in a positive place and manifest a more positive life is to remember our connection to Source.

I tucked that bit of wisdom away for a calmer moment and carried on in the race against the morning clock. During my commute, I remembered the imparted words, “Divine. God.” and this time the word “Sacred” came through to complete the expression. Divine. God. Sacred. The meaning was simple to me — we are divine because we are one with God, and this oneness is absolutely sacred. That was it. That seemed all I needed to know — in that moment and possibly ever.

Of course, as I so appreciate, Source would send me a few more signs all aligned in the same direction, just to make sure I got the message. As I tuned into The Lively Show just moments later, the episode I’d absentmindedly chosen (#301) was all about turning to the inner voice and allowing it to be our primary guide. Host Jess Lively conducted a recorded session with her client from the place of her inner voice, almost as a channeling of the divine within her, or of the non-physical part of her, as Abraham Hicks would term it. Lively’s inner voice continually calls her client back to the present moment each time her client presses on for advice about what to do in life and work. Lively’s inner voice simply repeats, “All is well” and “There is nothing wrong.” Her inner voice is so totally calm, and as she points out, it’s as if her “job” right now in this world is simply to vibrate at these higher, calmer frequencies — the frequencies our brain enters when we are in a meditative or exalted state. From this state, we can achieve the vibrational alignment that is necessary to use the Law of Attraction for positive manifestation.

As Abraham Hicks breaks down for us again and again, the Law of Attraction works as follows:

  1. We ask — this is easy and automatic; it comes out of our mere existence as vibrational beings.  
  2. The answer is given — the Universe immediately responds to our requests.
  3. We allow — we must tune our vibration to the frequency of our desire (a.k.a. get into alignment); if we are not vibrating in alignment with our desires, the desires will not manifest. We must get into a positive frequency to attract positive desires. Abraham reminds us that our natural state is well-being. Dr. Wayne Dyer would add that this is so because we are one with God, and since God is love, we are love. It is only when we get caught up in worldly life that we stray from our natural state of wellness and love and divinity.

This is why staying in connection with our higher source / higher self is so key to manifesting. When we are connected to Source, we are automatically in alignment and can then stay in a place of deliberate manifestation.

I’ve been guided to this realization over the past few days and believe this is the answer for me right now. Just last Friday, my sister randomly recommended Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver.  Of course, I immediately listened on Audible, and the thing that struck me most was the calmness and tranquility in Silver’s voice as she narrates the audiobook. It was just like Jess Lively’s inner voice — so very calm and so much more simplistic than the hurried and contorted gymnastics of the ego mind. She challenges us to let go of all of the demands and contortions of our minds and, instead, follow and trust in our inner voice, or connection to Source. This divinely inspired place is where we want to manifest from.

Then, yesterday, in a rare hour by myself, I felt drawn to skim the Super Soul Sunday recordings in my DVR, which I hadn’t done in weeks. There, I found only one episode I hadn’t yet seen: Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Brother David Steindl-Rast, a benedictine monk. Steindl-Rast emphasized and repeated that the most important thing in our human journey is to trust life. Trusting in life means trusting in Source and in its love for us. When we do this, we are in a complete state of calm. We are in alignment. Positive manifestations flow.

Okay, Source. I get it. Let us quiet our minds. All is well. Nothing is wrong. If we listen to our inner knowing, we are, in fact, listening to you and opening ourselves to co-creation with you, the divine, which is far greater than anything we could possibly imagine or create on our own.

I have to assume, after all of my failed attempts to force my way to “success”, that there’s a better way. I see now that I’m a recovering over-achiever. I over-achieved my way through graduate school and then worked as a college English instructor for a few years. I then over-achieved my way through law school and currently work as an attorney. Still, I haven’t found “success” in my every day work life — fulfillment, inspiration, joy, financial abundance, financial security, et cetera. Of course, I experience moments of these positive states, but it’s not the kind of light-me-up, holy shit, life is amazing kind of “success” I was expecting after all of my painstaking efforts.

Of course, I know now that I was letting my mind do the leading. I followed all the rules, took all the career quizzes, considered ALL of the advice, weighed all the pros and cons, and I worked my tail off, but never did I really consult my heart. Deep down, I don’t think I believed it could lead me to the right place — I didn’t trust it and really didn’t even know to listen to it. Now, after some difficult-to-swallow missteps (like the unbelievably astronomical amount of debt I took-on to purchase my law degree) I know.

Divine. God. Sacred.