Almost two years ago, I miscarried at 14 weeks after a terrible car accident. The entire experience jolted me out of the routine and rather unexamined life I had been living. Everything stopped for a while. The facade (that I didn’t even realize I had been maintaining) crumbled away. I found myself crying on the way to work, crying at work, crying in the middle of the night. Feelings that I “didn’t have time for” were welling up and out of my body beyond my control at seemingly inopportune times.
What came out of the devastating loss turned out to be one of the greatest gifts of my life — the chance at a new life, one in alignment with my heart, my higher self, my soul, my purpose (however you want to phrase it).
While recovering from the physical and emotional trauma, I worked with two incredible healers in what felt like divine appointments. Both separately urged that I begin allowing and feeling my emotions. Two years later, I see the profound significance of their advice.
Feeling your emotions, people pleasing, self-love, alignment, neural nets, frequency — all of these are buzz phrases used in the worlds of personal development and the Law of Attraction. And, as I’ve come to realize, they are all more interrelated than they might seem at first glance.
If I’m focused on feeling MY emotions:
- I’m not people pleasing because I’m focused on my feelings instead of being overly preoccupied with the thoughts and feelings of everyone around me.
- I’m practicing self-love because I’m in tune with what I truly desire at a core level, and I’m able to provide for myself in a way that is deeply satisfying;
- I’m in alignment because I’m processing all of my emotions — feeling all of it, letting the bad go, and fostering more of the emotions that are true to how I want to feel on a regular basis.
- I’m rewiring the powerful neural nets in my brain. Once I really started acknowledging my feelings, some pretty negative, fear-based, self-doubting patterns became obvious. I am slowly undoing those 30-something-year-old electrical patterns by learning to choose thoughts that feel better. As Dr. Joe Dispenza writes in his Becoming Supernatural: If you’ve spent years in a cycle of thinking and feeling negatively, you’ve become addicted to those emotions. Getting a new job or a new spouse may not even help you feel better on a long term basis since most people return to their baseline state after a relatively short amount of time. He urges that you have to “think greater than the way you feel” to make any real, lasting changes. This is something that must be practiced over an extended period of time to see real progress.
- My frequency is higher. As Dispenza writes, we are all energetic beings and emit a frequency. When we think a thought, the networks that fire create electrical charges; those thoughts also cause chemical reactions which cause emotions, which create magnetic charges. Together, this creates our own individual electromagnetic field, which Dispenza calls our state of being. He writes that different emotions have different frequencies, and that we are usually sending out the same type of energy day in day out. We have to change how we think and feel to change our energetic state of being and upgrade our frequency.
The takeaway here is stop and FEEL your feelings — especially the negative stuff. Suppressing it just keeps us stuck. We have to acknowledge the truth of our negative emotional patterns if we ever want to move out of them and start cultivating happier neural nets and a happier life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!